Winter sucks, I think that it's true
I need some snowfall before my balls turn blue
Beautification is a fluctuatin'
So throw me some Seasonal Masturbation

And I'm not just bein' a cynical lyricist
People go crazy under whimsical realists
Just take a look around and I'm sure that you'll see
All the biblical bureaucrats at the top of the tree

And while the bureaucrats take their bureau-craps
I'll take a bureau-nap before I bureau-fap
They came with nothin' like a boy without porn
And they still got nothin' but the place they're born

We turned 'em away, we turned 'em down
A bomb falls in the forest makin' no sound
Well, there's no one to hear the post casualty orders
Cuz they fired the only Doc's without borders

We need to give 'em name tags just to be sure
Labeling people; have we seen this before
That's right I pulled the Trump card
But I play the best when the hand comes down hard

It's the second coming but not of the big G
It's the whim of the whiny DT
I'm not one to rhyme, it's not my style
But to warm the winter I'll spit hot fire

Chorus//

I-I-I can't believe my eyes
They always tell me lies just when I need them
You haven't lived a second till the moment you see
Through the guy who lives alone in mediocrity

Verse II//

I'm resourceful like cave
You can find me chillin out in an unmarked grave
If it I stopped to save my name it'd be a shame
Since everyone calls me lame it's all the same

I dug this hole, bit by bit
Now I have a place to throw this fit
Call it what you want but I ain't no hater
I'm a screwball, no it all, pro-masturbator

I always filter all the words that I'm sayin'
That's manly as fuck if you see what I'm layin'
Down with all the talk of hypocrisy
I'd never say that someone was less than me

Chorus//

Bridge//

I had sex with a girl while digging snow without a shovel
She took snow blowing to a whole other level
Who needs a pilots liscence, I'll just wing it
Pleasure is a search engine, if you're desperate you'll Bing it

If there's one thing that I'm good at it's rememberin' lyrics
So... uh shit

Chorus//

Ah-Ah-I can't believe my eyes
I'm always tellin' lies just when I want to
I haven't lived a second that's what I hope you'll see
There's a thousand million people, places I'll never do or see

So don't take it from me
I will admit when I'm wrong
I know I said I can rhyme so
This is the end of the track